Looking Back, Looking Forward , I’m An Inexperienced Mourner


Its is April 11 a pivotal day in my life. It is the day my father died in 2011. I remember this vividly. Two days prior, he was released from the hospital. I picked him up, we got his perceptions and the next morning we had breakfast. Our last conversation was about our future. My father had never been part of my photography life. He got sick as I picked up a camera again. He wanted to know how I was progressing. This gave us something to talk about other than his health. On my visits to the hospital we often talked about me turning my photography into more of a business and doing what I loved. The thing about his death was, I never got a chance to mourn his loss.

Recently , everything brought forth by my dads death came to a close. As I was sipping coffee from his wine glass a little voice in my head said “It’s OK you can finish morning now”

On the family farm where I laid my father ashes

After his death there was a whirlwind of activity. Reconnecting with family and taking over what he had left me. There were things I did not want to take on, but I did in his honor. This is where things got weird. Money has a way of making people awkward. Family members decided the make things rough for me when things started to settle down. So when I should have been morning, I was fighting legal battles.


The legal battles were eventually resolved. Due to technicalities and any hope of future diplomacy with my family I had to make a tough decision. I was forced to sell out my inheritance. I wanted to avoid any future problems. I am happy being the black sheep and want to keep a low profile.


This was my last epic battle. The house sale took forever. NJ is evil. There were problems up problems with the property that were only found after the contract to sell was signed. It took two years to of fixing things and fighting with a city to clear everything up. If I did not do this I would have lost more than I wanted.

gservo-1484140401This, as most things do, finally ended. After what seemed a relentless struggle the house sold All debts were paid. It is spring again. I now get to refocus on my photography. My time is no longer split between too many responsibilities. I tried to keep my photography life going for the last few years however it was tough. Now As I rebuild ,I get to look back on my dad’s life. I think about everything he taught me about business. The work ethics he instilled in me and apply it to my photography. I get to take my kids out and show them how I work,and how to work as he did with me. I miss that man and have a lot to thank him for.

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